Starring: Chris Pine, Stephen Dillane, Rebecca Robin, Billy Howle
Director: David Mackenzie
Runtime: 2 hours, 1 minute
Action | Biography | Drama | History | War | 2018
I have three distinct reactions to this movie.
One: I really hate how humans treat each other. Not much has changed since the 1300s when this movie takes place, everyone killing each other for whatever reason they have. In this case, it’s a rebellion against the King of England, but my goodness. Everyone’s always fighting and not getting along and I wish it would just change already. I especially don’t like that the men in this movie (I guess I should say the real men in the fights were based on) killed all the men and all the men’s horses BUDUMSHEESH - see what I did there? Couldn’t help myself. It was hard to watch that last epic battle even though it was full of action and honor and tension. It also brought back painful memories from when we were forced to watching this one movie in Catholic School where all the men were stabbing babies with spears and shit just because they didn’t want Jesus to be alive and they had no idea which baby he was. Ridiculous. People are ridiculous.
Two: I crack myself up. To keep myself entertained during the first hour of the movie (because it was so absolutely boring and confusing) I typed myself up some “notes” where I asked questions. I’m wondering if anyone knows the answers? Here is your test (with some answers):
Third: How ON GOD’S GREAT EARTH was the bowl haircut ever fashionable?
With all that being said, I wouldn’t say this movie is completely awful. The first half isn’t great, but it really picked up in the end and I enjoyed Chris Pine and Rebecca Robin as a couple. I’m going to give this one an “Okay” because I wouldn’t watch the bloody gore again. It was pretty inspiring somehow though. (2.5/5).
"If that boy were an apple, he'd be a delicious"
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