Geostorm - Hated It - DOUBLEFEATUREPREACHERS

Geostorm - Hated It

10/23/2017

This poster pissed me off because it in no way displays a scene in the film

Starring: Gerard Butler, Jim Sturgess, Abbie Cornish
Director: Dean Devlin
Runtime: 1 hour, 49 minutes
Action | Sci-Fi | Thriller | 2017

Geostorm /jēō-stôrm/
noun

a violent disturbance of the atmosphere with strong winds and usually rain, thunder, lightning, or snow that affects the entire planet at once.
a completely awful movie that has good intent, but doesn’t deliver.

Now, I had heard really bad things about this film leading up to its release. But I’m not one to let those bad reviews stop me from seeing a film, especially one with a synopsis like this film:

When the network of satellites designed to control the global climate starts to attack Earth, it’s a race against the clock to uncover the real threat before a worldwide Geostorm wipes out everything and everyone.

Sounds intriguing and thrilling to me. Science Fiction movie about a worldwide climate catastrophe, yes please. The Day After Tomorrow is probably on my top list of movies out there, and this is pretty much what I was expecting. Geostorm was not what I had hoped for.

First off, the film is completely lazy when it comes to explaining what “Dutch Boy” is (the satellite system) and why it was created. A little girl is telling the audience during video feeds of natural disasters… I feel like there could have been a better way to do this. They even end the film with the same little girl doing a voiceover and, for more or less, closing the film out. You don’t even see this little girl for more than 10 minutes in the entire film.

Second, there wasn’t that much excitement until the satellites actually started to attack Earth. At this point, we were well over half way through the film. Geostorm is trying to be a conspiracy theory film played by the politicians in D.C. along with a science fiction film along with I don’t know what. I felt like they were trying to hard.

How do you stop the Geostorm from happening? Kidnap the President.

SPOILERS
The whole “kidnap the president” thing seemed really easy and completely unnecessary. For two reasons: A) Sarah (Abbie Cornish) is on the secret service and is the girlfriend of Max (Jim Sturgess). Max literally asks Sarah to kidnap the president, and she says yes. What an awesome Secret Service agent? B) The secret service are the ones behind the Geostorm catastrophe in the first place, so all they had to do was talk to the President and he would save the world.. But then again they thought HE was doing it on purpose.
END SPOILERS

Not the camel!

Gerard Butler plays Jake, the man that invented Dutch Boy and is tasked with going up to the space station to figure out the problem is. This is another thing that kind of threw me off on the film altogether. Jake just instantly realizes who the bad guy is. With no indications or clues, something just snaps in his mind and he knows who it is. Um okay?

The last 15 or so minutes were both predictable and unoriginal, however they were the only times in the film that I was excited while watching. Explosions in space (oh yeah, did I mention like half of the film takes place in space), tidal waves and hail storms and heat waves and lightning strikes happening on Earth, and the thrilling race to stop it all. It completely didn’t match the rest of the movie.

Overall this movie was not good. The effects weren’t terrible, but the dialogue and plot were. Even Gerard Butler couldn’t help this film out. I was still going to give it an “okay” rating because of the last 15 or so minutes, but I think I'm going to stick with a "Hated It," don’t go see this movie. The rumors I heard before seeing it were true and I don’t recommend it. Should have went with Happy Death Day for my Sunday date night. (1.5/5)

Rick gives it a (1/5).

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