Feast - D-

​Quick Hit:  An example of amateur filmmaking that fails to justify its short running time. 

I watch a lot of horror movies. Maybe not as much as some of my favorite film critics, who I still am amazed in their ability to manage the amount of films they watch and write up, but quite a few. I also find myself constantly searching to find more to watch, in particular because I search for gems that may be cut roughly compared to the dazzling diamonds that become critical darlings. Unfortunately, sometimes I get myself into situations where I’m watching something like Feast, which stayed under the radar for a reason.

I remember seeing the DVD case for Feast at Family Video and consistently passing it up. There was something about it that made me a bit concerned to watch it. Maybe it was the cover, which has dripping teeth vaguely reminiscent of something you might see in The Descent, a vastly superior movie. Or maybe it was just the name, which invokes feelings of Thanksgiving or Christmas. Regardless, I ended up purchasing a copy at V-stock for $3.99, popped it in on a Saturday afternoon, and proceeded to be extremely disappointed.
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Feast wasn’t worth the $3.99. 

It starts mainly with the camerawork and the lighting, which at times literally renders the film unwatchable. It’s a combination of the darkness (I had to shut all the curtains I could and still ended up squinting) and the movement, which if the film had been a found footage film, wouldn’t have been out of place. But… it’s not. So the constant shaking is not in keeping with the film, and instead just looks like shoddy work. Probably because it is.
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The story isn’t bad – essentially think of The Mist, or Shaun of the Dead, but way worse. People are trapped in a bar as monsters ravage outside. There’s the constant threat from these creatures at any door or window – indeed, the man who looks like he is set up to be our hero is killed nearly instantly after a monologue. These few moments, where the creatures bloody and burst people throughout the bar, is the film’s only redeeming quality. There’s some decent effects work hidden inside here, and it makes you wish the film was given the true horror comedy treatment rather than what it was given. 

There... there's no words.

The less said about the acting overall, the better.

The other thing I did like, despite myself, was the character introductions. Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle did the same thing, albeit within a videogame setting. I liked it here as well.

Other than that, not much is to be said. I’m giving this one a “D-“. I can't believe this spawned multiple sequels. 

For more on this film, check out IMDB.